Tsvetaeva - Homesickness

[davlet]

Originally posted by licorne


Wow! I must say I'm amazed. Your translation, davlet, made everything so clear and - above all - so beatiful. I'm glad that so many people had the oppurtinity to read it and I'm sure it's inspired more than one.

Thank you, you are too kind!

Tommorrow I'll add an excellent - though somewhat problematic, but who isn't? - French translation that I found, for the sake of mes chers compatriotes who don't speak english.

Of course.

I'll keep on asking questions, if I may, while reading Tsvetayeva - and maybe others as well...

I'll be happy to help.

it's so good to know I have such a warm address for russian-poetry matters!

I doubt Russian poetry was discussed here before now; but we can make it a tradition.

Thank you as well, Nastia,for the site. I'm not quite sure about the poetic value of these translation - it's too much of a colloquial american and not inspired enough to my taste - but it's important to know.

à bientôt! see you soon!

Talk to you later!
D.P.

[Deni]

Originally posted by davlet

Hi Licorne,

Okay, my English is far from perfect, but I'll try. Here it goes (things in square brackets are my clarifications that don't exist in the original text; the numbers in brackets refer to my comments at the end):

Craving for homeland [1]! The long ago
Exposed ordeal!
I absolutely do not care
Where absolutely lonesome

I am to be, what stones I am to tread on
While lagging home carrying a market bag,
Towards a house that does not know it is mine
Like a hospital or a barracks.

It’s all the same -- among what
Faces I am to bristle like a captive
Lion, from what society
I am to be displaced – without fail –

Into myself, in a dictatorship [2] of feelings
Like a Kamchatka [3] bear with no ice
Where not to get along (nor am I trying to)
Or where to grovel – it’s all the same to me.

Nor shall I be seduced by native tongue,
Its milky call.
It makes no difference to me in what [language]
I am to be misunderstood by a stranger. [4]

( [The stranger, who] reads, and swallows
tonns of newspapers, and preys on gossip [5])
He is of the 20th century,
And I am from before time [6]

[While I am] Dumbfounded like a log
That remains of an alley
Everything seems equally insignificant [7],
But perhaps most valuable

Is the past that is dearer to me than anything else.
All patterns, all markings
All dates have been removed from me
[I am] A sole that has been born – somewhere.

Thus my land couldn’t preserve me
Just like a sharpest sleuth
Could not find a birthmark
On a sole – all of it.

Every house seems strange, every temple seems empty
And all seems equally meaningless [7]
Except [when I see] a shrub along the road
Especially a rowan-tree [8] ...


Footnotes:
[1] The Russian word ("rodina") doesn't have an exact equivalent in English. It's a noun derived from a word meaning "related by blood" or "very closely tied", i.e., "the revered native land". They frequently translate it as "Motherland" in English.
[2] "Dictatorship", literally "the exclusive rule of".
[3] "Kamchatka" is a place at the Russian Far East.
[4] "... to be misunderstood by a stranger", literally "passer-by".
[5] "preys on gossip", literally "milks gossip"
[6] "I am from before time", literally "I am from before all centuries"
[7] "Everything seems equally insignificant", literally "all is equal". This one is somewhat vague and therefore hard to translate, but I think "equally insignificant, meaningless, worthless, unappealing, unengaging, disintereting" is what she means.
[8] "Rowan-tree" is a type of plant that is very common in Russia; considered to be distinctively Russian (along with a birch-tree).


As for the title, this poem is listed by it's first line in the book where I read it: "Craving for homeland! The long ago..." ("Òîñêà ïî ðîäèíå! Äàâíî...").

Hope this helps,
davlet

Hello davlet
Sorry for interference.
it's a great translation of yours but may I be allowed two comments
In 7th strophe you wrote: "But perhaps most valuable...". In the original was "Íî ìîæåò áûòü âñåãî ðàâíåå..." So the exact translation would be "But perhaps most equal (most the same) of all..."
Two last lines of the last strophe can mislead as far as I know English because they can be understood as if "everything seems meaningless to her except "rowen". Althoug she meant something opposite: everything seems meaningless ("equal and the same" in original) to her but especcialy rowen does.
Sorry for some pedantry but I am fond of Tsvetaeve too much
cheers

[Edited by Deni on 24th May 2003 at 11:09]

[licorne]

This is the French translation by Eve Malleret. I found another one, made by Elsa Triolet (Louis Aragon's wife) but It's awfully bad. Malleret's translation is excellent, I think, and very musical. Let's hear it for Marina:

Mal du pays

Mal du pays! Tocard, ce mal
Démasqué il y a longtemps!
Il m'est parfaitement égal
Où me trouver parfaitement

Seule, sur quels pavés je traîne,
Cabas au bras jusque chez moi,
Vers la maison, - plutôt caserne! -
Qui ne sait pas qu'elle est à moi.

Il m'est égal à qui paraître
Lion en cage, - devant quels gens,
Et de quel milieu humain être
Expulsée - immanquablement -

En moi-même, dans l'isoloir
Du coeur. Mal vivre - qu'importe où,
Où - m'avilir, moi, ours polaire
Sans sa banquise, je m'en fous!

Même ma langue maternelle
Aux sons lactés - je m'en défie.
Il m'est indifférent en quelle
langue être incomprise et de qui!

(Du lecteur, du glouton de tonnes
De presse, - abreuvoir de potins...)
Vingtième siècle - c'est ton homme!
Avant tout siècle - moi je vins!

Bûche abandonnée sur les dalles
D'une allée, durcie de partout,
Tout m'est égal, les gens se valent,
Et peut-être par-dessus tout -

Egal: ce qui fut le plus cher.
De moi ont disparu d'un coup
Tous signes, dates et repères:
Une âme née on ne sait où.

Mon pays a si peu pris garde
A moi que le plus fin limier
Sur mon âme - de long en large,
Ne verra rien de familier.

Temple où maison: vide, personne...
Tout m'est égal, rien à parier.
Mais si sur le chemin buissonne
Un arbre, et si c'est - un sorbier...

[davlet]

Hello, Deni

Originally posted by Deni
Hello davlet
Sorry for interference.
it's a great translation of yours but may I be allowed two comments
In 7th strophe you wrote: "But perhaps most valuable...". In the original was "Íî ìîæåò áûòü âñåãî ðàâíåå..." So the exact translation would be "But perhaps most equal (most the same) of all..."
[/b]

Yes, but I don't think it makes much sense in English. "Most equal of all"? I think she *implies* "most valuable, most important". As in "First among the equals" (I rather famous saying).

Two last lines of the last strophe can mislead as far as I know English because they can be understood as if "everything seems meaningless to her except "rowen". Althoug she meant something opposite: everything seems meaningless ("equal and the same" in original) to her but especcialy rowen does.

Why?

Âñÿê äîì ìíå ÷óæä, âñÿê õðàì ìíå ïóñò,
È âñå — ðàâíî, è âñå — åäèíî.
Íî åñëè ïî äîðîãå — êóñò
Âñòàåò, îñîáåííî — ðÿáèíà... ["then it's a whole different story" -- seems like a logical thing to say next].

Sorry for some pedantry but I am fond of Tsvetaeve too much
cheers

Thanks

[davlet]

Originally posted by licorne


This is the French translation by Eve Malleret. I found another one, made by Elsa Triolet (Louis Aragon's wife) but It's awfully bad. Malleret's translation is excellent, I think, and very musical. Let's hear it for Marina:

[...]

I wish I could understand French! How're you doing Licorne?

[Cinderella]

Was it Tsvetayeva that went back to Russia?

[Deni]

Originally posted by davlet
Hello, Deni

Yes, but I don't think it makes much sense in English. "Most equal of all"? I think she *implies* "most valuable, most important". As in "First among the equals" (I rather famous saying).
[/b]

Well I think "most equal" is illogical in ANY language INCLUDING Russian. But who says that Poetry must follow strict logic? This phrase transmits a kind of "love-hate" emotion which can't be covered by the word "valuable" which is too direct for it. By the way the phrase you have quoted "first among equal" and also a famours Orwell's phrase: "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal" prove that such a play on words is possible in English too. The only problem I see here is not an illogical combination of words. Rather as far as know in English the word "equal" can't transmit a personal attitude. So I am not sure I can say "It's equal to me". But anyway "valuable" doesn't reflect the emotion Tsvetaeva wanted to tell I think. May be "what seems to me mostly the same is..." or something like this... But I don't know English quite well for poetical exercises

BTW in French there is a similar word "égal" which can be used for transmitting a personal attitude. And in the great French translation licorne has put: "Il m'est égal à qui paraître..." and "Et peut-être par-dessus tout - ..." which is a literal translation of Tsvetaeva's words: íî ìîæåò áûòü âñåãî ðàâíåå.

Why?

Âñÿê äîì ìíå ÷óæä, âñÿê õðàì ìíå ïóñò,
È âñå — ðàâíî, è âñå — åäèíî.
Íî åñëè ïî äîðîãå — êóñò
Âñòàåò, îñîáåííî — ðÿáèíà... ["then it's a whole different story" -- seems like a logical thing to say next].

Well I've reread these lines more attentively and now I think that you can be right and your interpretation is most probable. But I think my interpretation is possible too.

[Edited by Deni on 26th May 2003 at 02:52]