Moving to Russia - It will be fun!

[Kenove]

Russia is one helluva cool place! It's all 'bout huntin' deers, reading books and stuff. I'm absolutely, positively moving to russia as soon as possible. Going fishin' with a couple of crazy guys with shotguns. It will be so damn fun that I don't know where the heck to begin.
First of all, I'll go to one of them smokey pubs and drink 'til I'm freakin' bathing in my own dizzyness and empty vodka-bottles. In the grey winters of Russia I'll spin around the whole city of Moscow, just to experience the great fun of beeing drunk in such a lovely place.
Second, I'll visit all the museums, libraries and universities I find, and all the other booky places. There I will educate every single person that looks strange, because strange people are easy to educate. I will teach'em 'bout the harsh, cold life of Norway, and they will be stunned by the intrigues of our viking history.
The day after that, it's back to the drinkin' and huntin', and once again - fishin' with a couple of crazy guys, this time with submachine-guns and grenades. Of course, there are no possibilities for a Norwegian to go fishin' on a foreign place like Moscow. I will do my best anyway, to get through the military guys that guard the waters in the forests. I don't blame'em for beeing communists or anythin', but hey, let me fish where ever I want!
After the two days of all kinds of typical Russian activities, I'll relax for a week or so in a hotel somewhere outside the town, and fill my the desks and drawers will some of that oh-so-great vodka, while I happily watch the Russian version of "Big Brother" with a smile on my face. I'll be the shining star of that freakin' hotel, that's for sure.
Then it's time to find a job. Fisher? No. Hunter? No. Farmer? Oh yeah! That's what I'll do. Somwhere in the vast corners of Russia, not so far away from Siberia, I'll get som animals and grow some plants, and feel good every, watching the nature and the grey snow.
Here is my problem though: How do I get that farm?? I need a farm, and I need workers. Help me in this one, dudes! We gotta start a farm! It's the whole reason I'm moving to Russia.

[Tom_June]

You should write novels, dude. Never have read anything like this. Interesting and also very funny.

I wonder what the point in moving from Norway to Siberia is.
And why I have never noticed hordes of military guys hiding along river banks here. From now on, I will be more careful.

I am off to search the surroundings.
Meanwhile, tell Bjoerndahlen to get back to biathlon.

[akhmet-bek]

If you want to move to Russia,forget Moskow(ain't Russian at all),or Siberia(too damn cold).Move to Sakhalin Island.It's like ...Russified Norway.Tonns of fishing,hunting,drinking,good food and hot women of all colors!

[Moneer81]

Kenove,

you hit the nail right on the head! I love your post. that's one of the main reasons I wanna move to Russia too....all the land and the wealth! I can't wait. It will be kick ass indeed. Let me know how the whole plan is going because I am extremely interested in those exact same things too.

[CastleStormer]

Better do some homework. It is not as easy to move to Russia as one thinks. They have some of the most strict immigration policies on the planet.

And this dream of "all the land and the wealth", I would recommend visiting there first. Talk with expats who are living there to get a "lay of the land" before you go.

[Moneer81]

I don't know if this is true, but I heard that in Russia you can own land and pay no taxes on it! if that's true that will be so awesome!