Hey butter?

[CastleStormer]

Is the Lat heading down there to get you? Please let me know. There are plans to be made.

[Butterfield8]

The Lat will be here on the 29/30. Meanwhile, I just keep telling myself to hold until then. How I'll do this is beyond me. Plus I dont want to be a scary mess once he gets here. I keep putting the foundation on my face, it covers the redness.

. I am trying summon the cajones to get some more atavan. They take away the need for alcohol. The only way to get them is to go to ER and spend 4 hours giving in to your body tremors, while they question whether or not you are a really an alcaholic.

Last night was the worst. Trying to type, giving in to the comfort of the floor,
finally made it to the bed.Every sound, my clock, the dogs outside added to the nightmare.By 430 am, heard the birds coming alive, This is sacre time...wake up, drink coffee, write in my journal, then throw the tennies on and go hike. I couldnt do this I have left my house in 3 days. I want to. I want to have a life Wondering how I was going to get out of this, thinking of all the places I've been and all the things I still want to do, not wanting to die....thinking that if I just get out of this, I'll be able to to do all those things.

I tried to smear some cover-up on my bruises. Thay are all over my body. I worry about how my face looks. I dont want my huzzy to see me like this.I tried putting on makeup...the mascara ended up somewhere near the left side of my forehead.

During my numerous pass-outs, I found a pad of paper. I lay on the floor and lifted one eye.. pen in hand.
Taking too long to write

Butter

[Imagine]

that's 5 or 6 days.....this is not good.

[CastleStormer]

So what if the Lat shows up to get you and you are not there? You are in Texas. What all hits the fan?


Are these the facts:

1. The Lat is your husband.
2. You are in crisis.
3. The Lat says he'll come get you when he gets around to it.
4. The Lat needs a good Texas sized a$$ whuppin'.

[Butterfield8]

CS,

It was I who asked him to come down on those dates, so I could try and finish packing up the house. I talked to him last night while my friend was here, and now he is driving out of Seattle tomorow morning.
I'm ok, got a good friend here who has been watching over me.
Thanks.

Butter

[carter]

Man, I am trying to relate with you Butter-head. Bruises? Passing out? What from? Do you have the DTs that bad? How long till you get back to normal once you dry out? Sorry to hear about you going through so much.

Hang in there. Things have got to get better. Dry out so you don't have to go through this again. You got lots of stuff you want to do, ya zniyo.

You'll make it, you're a union soldier

Peace.

[Butterfield8]

My friend the RN has beeen here with me Friday night, I met him in the Fellowship. I asked him if he would hang here for a couple days and monitor me because I wanted to cold turkey it, and the first 48 hours are high risk of seizures and they are just plain terrfiying.

I didn't want to use any come-down drugs because they don't seem to have gotten me anywhere past couple times, they just make it real easy and painless to withdraw, and then 4 days later you are withdrawing from those drugs, and the whole cycle just starts all over again.

The bruises are because my liver is getting more than it handle lately, and if forced to, it willl use the skin as an eliminating outlet for the toxins.

I have slept probably 4 hours since Friday night, but I am out of the immediate danger zone, besides everyone knows sleep is overrated

Butter