21st January 2002, 01:59
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He left.
He's coming back. I think he's here now. Yes, chances are I'll move on. But I won't forget him, EVER. I don't forget people (especially people who tear my heart out). It's just a good time to perserve the memory. or more appropriately, the pain. More importantly, sometimes the expression of one's pain-- eases the pain of someone else. I appreciate your caring gesture jutka. Sincerely, Natasha 
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21st January 2002, 02:06
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Natalie,
If it helps to ease your pain, then by all means do all that you can to help yourself through it. But do not overestimate the importance that this person had on your life. Do not idolize him, or ingraine him too precisely in your memory. How long has it been?
__________________
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21st January 2002, 23:14
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Thank you for the advice.
Sergei left the week of christmas, and was set to return this weekend. I'm basically trying to move on. Natasha
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22nd January 2002, 03:15
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Dear Nataly!
I was amaized and deeply disturbed by your letter to Sergei.I hope you will feel somehow better,even though I don't believe you can feel better right now.Maybe it is the right thing to do - to let this terrible,screaming flow of emotions carry you,but only for a while,maybe,it is the right thing to do to let yourself griff,but only for a while,maybe you just need some time to make this pain go away- forever.I believe,only if you will go through all of it you will find peace and you will be able live and feel again...I am so very sorry...
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24th January 2002, 00:26
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Thank you Sashenka & jutka for your concern, much appreciated.
Sergei did e-mail me yesterday! It was a relief to hear from him. However, I don't know how I feel anymore because I wonder if I will be able to look him in the eye again. And obviously, that's important. Nat.
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