What is love

[Traper]

The word "love" you can find everywhere - almost every popular song is about it. But I wonder that it has little to do with the christian love. The definition I like (unfortunetelly, not my idea ) is that love is the DECISION to love someone.

We can see many kinds of love - to our family, between man and woman, to our friends etc. But they all, if really can be called "love", have a core, stronge base described in 1st Letter to Corinthians. Things like feelings, obedience, obligation, sexual elements are only addings - sometimes very helpfully, but only addings.

The base is our free decision that whatever happen we will do what is the best for the person we promissed love. Good feelings are very useful, but if we base on them - what if they change?
It is normal that sometimes you are angry with somebody, feel hurt, annoied or anything else. The point is what you do, not what exactly you feel at this moment.

That's why I think that love cannot finish - it lasts for ever or never exist.

[Hopeful2]

After many years have gone by, people may not remember exactly what you said or what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel.

The fact is love is the greatest of all human qualities, and is an attribute of God himself. Love involves unselfish service to others, and to show it gives evidence that you care.

Faith is the foundation of God's message. Hope in the attitude and focus. And love is the action. When faith and hope are in line, you are free to love completely because you understand how God loves. Our society confuses love and lust, God's kind of love is directed outward towards others, and not inwards towards ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is possible to practice this love only if God helps us to set aside our own desires and instincts, so that we can give love while expecting nothing in return.

[Traper]

After many years have gone by, people may not remember exactly what you said or what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel.

Do you suggest, that we should care much about people's feelings towards us? The source of good or bad feeling may be not the same as aim of words or activity.
For example: sb. told you sth that made you sad. There could be 2 explanations of your feeling:
1. This person really hurt you (on purpouse or not).
2. This person told you some truth that is difficult to you.

Faith is the foundation of God's message. Hope in the attitude and focus. And love is the action.

Could you please explain it? Maybe some example...

[brian66]

TRAPER we dont have full control over how other people feel about us... thats outside our control.. because there are so many things in each persons make up that would influence the way they would feel towards us ..BUT what we do have more control over is the way WE think or act towards people.. BUT we can ONLY think or act towards people in the RIGHT way if we let GOD guide us because he knows people better than we do ..in my own life i have found the following way best.. act,speak,and think about people the way JESUS teaches you and leave the rest to GOD ..but you will have peace of mind because you did your best..worry more about how GOD will feel towards you ,rather than how man will feel towards you ..remember what the apostle PAUL said ,"if i were yet pleasing MEN i would NOT be pleasing GOD...BRIAN

[Hopeful2]

Originally posted by Traper

Do you suggest, that we should care much about people's feelings towards us? The source of good or bad feeling may be not the same as aim of words or activity.
For example: sb. told you sth that made you sad. There could be 2 explanations of your feeling:
1. This person really hurt you (on purpouse or not).
2. This person told you some truth that is difficult to you.

Could you please explain it? Maybe some example...

Dear Trapper

I am so sorry for taking so long to reply and will try and answer you as best as I can.

What I am talking about is simply how we as humans inherently are. If I were to meet with you today and what ever was said between us was something very profound and I was overjoyed by what you said or did (or perhaps very upset by), and this meeting left a lasting impression on me, well, in twenty years time, I very well may forget your name or what was said verbatim, but I will never forget how you made me feel simply because your words or actions invoked an emotion that have stayed with me through out the years. This is not uncommon for each of us.

When we recall memories of old friends, or perhaps see someone shopping in a department store, and this person absolutely disliked us during our youth, we tend to never fail to recognize (sometimes subconsciously) how this person or persons made us feel, regardless of any of the extenuating circumstances.

Now I'm not trying to infer that we should let what others think about us dictate how we live our lives (for what God thinks of us is infinitely more important than what others around us think), but we most certainly should take the other person thoughts, feelings, etc into consideration in order to try not to say or do anything that is hurtful to them or even causes them to stumble. For example, if I invite a friend over for a dinner party and I know this person is a recovering alcoholic, out of consideration for this person I should not be serving wine at this dinner party, as I most definitely don't want to set anything before them that may cause them to stumble.




And in regards to what I said about faith, hope and love.

Faith in Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior is the very foundation of being a Christian. There are two words that can very well describe this faith: SURE and CERTAIN. These two qualities need a secure beginning and ending point. The beginning point of faith is believing in God's character - He is who He says He is. The end point is believing in God's promises - He will do what He says. When we believe that God will fulfill His promises even though we don't see those promises materializing yet, we demonstrate true faith.

The hope we as Christians have is well expressed in Jeremiah 29:11,12. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." Also bear in mind that we all have done things for which we are ashamed, and we live in the tension of what we have been and what we want to be. Because our hope is in Christ, however, we can let go of past guilt and look forward to what God will help us become. We must not dwell on our past. Instead we should grow in the knowledge of God by concentrating on our relationship with Him now. Realize that We are forgiven, and then move on to a life of faith and obedience. Look forward to a fuller and more meaningful life because of our hope in Christ.

And love is certainly an outward sign of of the previous two attributes. Real love is an action, not a feeling. It produces selfless, sacrificial giving. The greatest act of love is giving oneself for others. How can we lay down our lives for others? By serving others with no thought of receiving anything in return. Sometimes it is easier ot say we'll die for others than to truly live for them - this involves putting others' desires first. Jesus taught this same principle of love.

I hope this helps in understanding where I was coming from with my views of such.