Socialism and communism

[BonyN]

I would like to discuss differences between socialism and communism, and do they have to come together? Let's start with Marx, and do we need to discuss Engels? (I recall some kind of Manifesto written by both of them together, forgot the name). Is Marx originator of Socialilsm, was it in Das Kapital, and who originated communism? I know Lenin was originator of Marxism-Leninism, but what the hell is that? There is too much confusion I think about what is Socialism and what is Communism.

[Ragnvald]

Yeah, you are right. A lot of confusion out there.

Let's not dig out corpses.

[BonyN]

Rags, just for your, the simplified version:

World Ideologies (Referencing Cows)

Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

[rikbe]

European Union socialism. You have two cows but you are not allowed to milk them because the British cows have gone mad.

Hinduism: You have two cows and your religion forbid you to milk or kill them. You die of starvation.

Judaism: You have two cows and sell them to your neighbor. When they are milked you buy them back for a lower price and sell them to another neighbor. With the profit you buy a third cow.

[BonyN]

Christian Communism: You have two cows, you bring them to the common barn where everyone brought their cows. You share the cows, the work and the milk.

[rikbe]

BonyN,

You forgot you have to give half the milk to the minister and his family, the poor, the sick, the insane, the missionaries, the christian education of the starving little children in Africa...

[BonyN]

And?